How my family deals with the memory of rape.
My grandmother’s best friend died within the last two months.
I wouldn’t be able to tell you when,
or what from.
My extended family didn’t send a condolence card.
When she came to us blotchy and tear stained,
we didn’t even ask what was wrong.
We instead let the silence get so thick
we could place everything we wanted to say but couldn’t on it.
All of our accusations
hung around her like deflating ballons.
At a recent family party,
my grandmother told my mother and I that she had begun taking “protect the children classes”,
to fill her now vacant time.
I didn’t hear her the first time she said this
but my mother did.
When I asked my grandmother to repeat herself,
my mother put up her hands as if to say,
“No, don’t do this.”
but my Grandmother did.
When she finished her sentence,
I stood and left the room.
I guess I moved so quickly that all of the dust particles in the room
rushed to fill the space I had vacated,
and they formed my silhouette
because my grandmother didn’t even stop talking.
It’s like she didn’t notice I left.
When I walked into the kitchen,
I could tell all of my relatives had heard.
One of them had his head between his legs claiming motion sickness,
another vigorously scrubbed the dishes,
and three of them tried to drown themselves in wine.
My youngest uncle had begun looking up the symptoms of dementia.
He looked hopeful.
Although they did not make eye contact with me,
they looked at me the way one looks at an oncoming truck.
I did not react violently though.
I chose to believe this was my grandmother’s way of retrogradely saving me,
her way of saying,
“If I had only know this then…”.
When the night was over,
none of my aunts and uncles hugged me.
They tipped toed around the land mines as I put on my jacket,
and left through the back door.
My favorite uncle and my loudest advocate,
chose to hug me for five seconds too long.
He took the time to whisper,
“Let’s face it kid, this won’t be the thing that breaks you.”
3I wrote my first real poem in six months.
I will be finishing it soon and putting an audio version up.
Later to come, my brother’s band Cryptodia will be writing music to go with said poem. It’ll be two siblings writing music and poems about their other sibling. Cute family stuff.
kthanxbai
2Clanthropology Artist of the Week: Safia Elhillo »
5it takes a lot to make a black girl blush. this did the trick. so much love to Salem of Clanthropology/”The Procrastinator”
brianomnidillon.com: for Kait Rokowski »
27one of my favorite poems written by one of my favorite poets written about another one of my favorite poets. my life is too layered. i should write about it.
My friend Kait is the type of person who shows up on your fucking stoop at 3am. Smokes your weed, sleeps on your couch. Then misses the goddamn bus out in the morning.
My friend Kait is the type of person who pours whiskey into red wine and then names the new concoction after herself.
My friend…
#1
11you kiss me like you are trying to save
a snowflake on your tongue.
Vanessa Perillo, my teammate and friend.
yeah jon.
“For every person dragging travel-sized baggage
Anyone who ever slipped up for one second
And let what someone said about you
Define you
More than anything you ever said about yourself.”Jon Sands
(via peletime)
50new poems by rachel mckibbens. »
(Source: meganfalley)
19Published »
(Source: toskateonsun)
6“Questions for John Coltrane, from his saxophone”.
lmao finally some video right? footage courtesy of Joe Amodei
Mary Taibs. NYC-Urbana WOWps qualifier - Diva Slam. Bowery Poetry Club. New York City. January 4, 2011.
This is me. I like this picture because the dude in the back and I are both in agreement that I’m funny.
16I Always say I’ll post videos when I get them…so here you are. This is “Ashley Jones”
This is Ka’Mone Felix. Love of my life and extraordinary poet.
(via iamtheearthmother)
No Gravity
This is something i am very very excited to share. its taken a few weeks to pull off. the official video for No Gravity. Thanks to Sean Gallagher for the film/editing work and Thom O’Connor for the music.
please share.
(via iamtheearthmother)
Indiefeed! »
I was lucky enough to be put on indiefeed thanks to Omni, Sean and really great timing. Here is the episode.
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